“A Smile To Remember” by Charles Bukowski - rewrite

National Poetry Writing Month day 11

we had kittens and they circled around and around

in the bowl on the table near the heavy drapes

covering the picture window and

my brother, always smiling, wanting us all

to be happy, told me, ‘be happy Hetty!’

and he was right: it’s better to be happy if you

can

but my mother continued to beat him and me several times a week while

raging inside her 6-foot-two frame because she couldn’t

understand what was attacking her from within.

my brother, poor cat,

wanting to be happy, beaten two or three times a

week, telling me to be happy: ‘Hetty, smile!

why don’t you ever smile?’

and then he would smile, to show me how, and it was the

saddest smile I ever saw

one day the kittens died, all five of them,

they floated on the water, on their sides, their

eyes still open,

and when my mother got home she threw them to the dog

there on the kitchen floor and we watched as my brother

smiled

"Rewrite a classic" was a prompt for NaPoWriMo day 1 by

V. Walker | Poet

. I didn’t change a lot in the rewrite. I wanted to keep all the poetic qualities Bukowski put in, and also the tragic dynamic of the poem. Believe it or not, even changing little was a puzzle. It was an interesting way to connect to the poem and learn. Here comes the original poem…

Photo by kazuend on Unsplash

“A Smile To Remember” by Charles Bukowski

we had goldfish and they circled around and around

in the bowl on the table near the heavy drapes

covering the picture window and

my mother, always smiling, wanting us all

to be happy, told me, ‘be happy Henry!’

and she was right: it’s better to be happy if you

can

but my father continued to beat her and me several times a week while

raging inside his 6-foot-two frame because he couldn’t

understand what was attacking him from within.

my mother, poor fish,

wanting to be happy, beaten two or three times a

week, telling me to be happy: ‘Henry, smile!

why don’t you ever smile?’

and then she would smile, to show me how, and it was the

saddest smile I ever saw

one day the goldfish died, all five of them,

they floated on the water, on their sides, their

eyes still open,

and when my father got home he threw them to the cat

there on the kitchen floor and we watched as my mother

smiled